1. Seek help early. The average couple waits six years before seeking help for marital problems. And keep in mind half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years. This means the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long.

2. Edit yourself. Couples who avoid saying every critical thought when discussing touchy topics are consistently the happiest.

3. Soften your ‘start-up’. Arguments first start up because a spouses sometimes escalate the conflict from the get-go by making a critical or contemptuous remark in a confrontational tone. Bring up problems gently and without blame .

4. Accept Influence. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the couple can except influence from each other. A husband's ability to be influenced by his wife, rather than vice versa, is even more crucial because research shows women are already well practised at accepting influence from men and a true partnership only occurs when a husband can do so as well.

5. Have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behaviour from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behaviour in the beginning of the relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.

6. Learn to repair and exit the argument. Successful couples know how to exit an argument. Happy couples know how to repair the situation before the argument gets completely out of control. Successful repair attempts include: changing the topic to something completely unrelated: using humour: stroking your partner with a caring remark ‘I understand it's hard for you’: making it clear you're on common ground, ‘this is our problem’: and in general offering signs of appreciation for your partner and his or her feelings along the way. If an argument gets too heated, take a 20 minute break, and agree to approach the topic again when you are both calm.

7. Focus on the bright side. In a happy marriage, while discussing problems coupes make at least five times as many positive statements to and about each other and their relationship as negative ones. For example, ‘We laugh a lot’ not ‘We never have fun’. A good marriage must have a rich climate of positivity. Make deposits to your emotional bank account.